to a nightmare within a nightmare

so i had this dream last night that my mom was somehow borught back to life. i dunno how or why...but in the dream she was sayinf something i could hear and my dad was fightin with me...he was happy i was pissed because she fucking left me....said if only she would have listened she would still be alive. that she was selfish....looking back it's kinda true. she got out of the hosiptal then went right back to take radiation....when her family told her not to. the result she got sicker and it ultimately lead to her dieing a week later. i dunno but i feel like shit earlier cause of it. i had forgot about the dream and then it came back it was insane. i don't know what the fuck is wrong with my brain to make me remember horrible things. i'd love to eraser something...but i guess i just have to live with it...anyways i just had to get that shit out....back to attempting to write my art history outline.

Special Victims unit

Oh how i love Law and Order SVU.....i don't care much for any of them other ones but i love this one...i dunno why tho. anyways right now they are having a ripped from the headlines marathon that i've been watching all day. All the episode are taking from real life and it's really good. i like it when the tragedy of real life inspires something and put it out there for people to be aware of.

I really need to be writing a paper. i told myself i would finish this paper, and outline and thsi thing for a scholarship. all by tuesday.....and i'm working on it. but i have a short attention spand. i just can't help it i have always had ADD and what not and i just stopped taking the crazy pills for it they just fuck u up and kill the creativity and you imagination. I just can't have that.

Ok back to SVU and my Tony Cragg paper. google him he really is a great artist!

HIM Live

Last weekend i got a chance to see my Favorite Band HIM Live and it was amazing!!!! I was so excited and electified. It took up 5 and half hours to get there, 20 mins to find a place to park, about 2 hours of waiting in line to get into Bogart's. The opening acts Drive A, and We are the Fallen, took forever doing like 6 songs a piece. But they were both great and i do recommend them..during the show tho I got smooshed, molested, hittin on ,kicked in the face by a crowd surfer and got gum stuck in my hair.

And it was all worth it to be like 6 feet from the 5 amazing finnish men that make up HIM.

And i would totally do it again in a heart beat.

I hate my name

So my real name it is not Marilyn Maddox....I personally hate my real name it is horrible. My 1st name is Jill well Jillian....my mom tells me she just loved the name....i'va always hated it. I never felt like a Jill....I've alwaya felt more fabulous then that.....Which i believe i truely am.....haha....anyways ever since i can remember i've loved Marilyn Monroe. she is fabulous and absolutely amazing. I love the name Marilyn. So that's why i use it....Even though Marilyn Monroe actually hated it....i love it. it's beautiful.....and my last know is even worst i'm not even gonna say it.....but i like Maddox....can't remember where i got it from but i love.....and i feel like a Marilyn Maddox. I look like one too atleast i think i do... I have a lot of dreams and with my real name i'll get no where so....that why i will call myself Marilyn Maddox it sounds so much better...

HIM

So my life kinda of sucks and i'm well aware of it...anyways there are only a few things that make me completely happy....HIM is one of those things.

They are my all time favorite band....they are amazing. Ville Valo (the lead singer) writes the most beautiful songs i've every heard. Songs that speak the words i'm too afriad to say. Songs that make me dance with happiness yet cry....laugh yet scream....they are amazing...

Anyways they are coming close to where i am live in concert andi have some money coming and i8'm going to see them.....even if it breaks me and leave me poor i'm gonna....

Cause they make me happy and keep me sane.

It will be so worth it.....even if i have to go alone.....

HIM=Love

Spring Break 10

So I've been on spring break all week....and i've done nothing but lay around, sleep, do artsy things and catch up on my shows. I've found a site that i'm absolute in love with.....

it's http://dollarstorecrafts.com/ it's a fantastic site full of cheap craft items.....i'm in love.....i live for artsy stuff....i've learned how to make German Stars and this awesome bracelet....




it's made out of a cassette tape.....it was an idea that came straight out of Finland and since i love just about anything Finnish i made one and it's awesome..mine is different then there's cause i broke it but i just revamped it....i'm gonna try again tho and see it i can make one like there...the designer who came up with this idea are amazing 2 of my new favorites.

Here's the link to how to make it.....also check out their weebsite they are pretty awesome!

http://www.hemmingwillstrom.com/unique/

I also made a set of Earrings from the wheels in the cassette.


well that is all for now...i'm going back to finish the 2nd episode of Dexter. I'm a total death hag....and i have alot of catching up to do with this serial killer

New beginnings

I have alot of dream....one of them i to start a web show called in bed with marilyn. since i'm having some trouble getting up the courage to do that i started this blog....i'll talk about whatever tickles my fancy really....A place to get everything out really....cause in this world you need an outlit